Tears for Tony
This morning I walked into a local florist to order flowers or a plant for Tony's funeral. I hadn't taken stock of my emotions or really paid any attention to them. My mind was on what I needed to do today and on the Walden family, wondering how their day would be filled. I walked to the counter, told the lady the amount I could spend and we decided on a beautiful peace lily, which is the same plant that Mark and Becky (Tony's parents) brought to our house when she heard of my mother's passing away. I was doing fine until the lady asked what I wanted on the card. Then, I lost it. I apologized and told her I didn't know what to put on the card.
What can you put on a card that will ease the pain and suffering of parents, of friends? There are no words -- none. I told her to just put "We love you" on the card. We do love them. Very much. We hurt for them, deeply. I can't think of Becky and her heartache that only a mother can know, without weeping. It sounds so cliche, but no parent should ever have to bury their child -- ever.
There are things in our lives that we just can never seem to understand; things for which we can find no answers. Even if we knew the answers, would we find solace? Would it make the loss easier? Would take that deep, unyielding pain away? Would we once again find peaceful sleep?
Somehow I don't think so. No matter how we live our lives, when our life is over, there is always regret, anger, a hurt like one has ever felt before, the unfulfilled hopes and dreams left in the wake.
So, today, I will worry more about my son who is away at a school function. I will worry about my little grandsons who have had fevers this week. I will worry more about all of my kids as they are out and about, living their lives. I will worry more about my husband as he works hard at his job. I will worry more about my friends and family who are hurting with unknown hurts. I will pray harder for each of them; that God will wrap his arms around all whom I love and protect them.
Though I've lost two children, I still cannot grasp the hurt that Mark and Becky feel. I can pray that God will soften each day that passes and make each morning easier to face. I pray for rest and comfort for the days ahead.
Before I leave this, I have to say a bit more about Becky. We lived right down the street from each other for years. We've gone to church together for years. Meg babysat Tony. We watched Tony grow from an adorable little boy to a handsome young man, his mother's pride and joy. When my mother passed away, Mark and Becky were among the first at my door with their shoulders and love. They brought food and the peace lily. She cried with me. I will never forget that as long as I live and hope that in some small way, I can be the kind of comfort to her that she was to me.
Please pray for my friends. Tony's visitation is tonight from 6:00 to 8:00. His funeral will be tomorrow at 2:00.
What can you put on a card that will ease the pain and suffering of parents, of friends? There are no words -- none. I told her to just put "We love you" on the card. We do love them. Very much. We hurt for them, deeply. I can't think of Becky and her heartache that only a mother can know, without weeping. It sounds so cliche, but no parent should ever have to bury their child -- ever.
There are things in our lives that we just can never seem to understand; things for which we can find no answers. Even if we knew the answers, would we find solace? Would it make the loss easier? Would take that deep, unyielding pain away? Would we once again find peaceful sleep?
Somehow I don't think so. No matter how we live our lives, when our life is over, there is always regret, anger, a hurt like one has ever felt before, the unfulfilled hopes and dreams left in the wake.
So, today, I will worry more about my son who is away at a school function. I will worry about my little grandsons who have had fevers this week. I will worry more about all of my kids as they are out and about, living their lives. I will worry more about my husband as he works hard at his job. I will worry more about my friends and family who are hurting with unknown hurts. I will pray harder for each of them; that God will wrap his arms around all whom I love and protect them.
Though I've lost two children, I still cannot grasp the hurt that Mark and Becky feel. I can pray that God will soften each day that passes and make each morning easier to face. I pray for rest and comfort for the days ahead.
Before I leave this, I have to say a bit more about Becky. We lived right down the street from each other for years. We've gone to church together for years. Meg babysat Tony. We watched Tony grow from an adorable little boy to a handsome young man, his mother's pride and joy. When my mother passed away, Mark and Becky were among the first at my door with their shoulders and love. They brought food and the peace lily. She cried with me. I will never forget that as long as I live and hope that in some small way, I can be the kind of comfort to her that she was to me.
Please pray for my friends. Tony's visitation is tonight from 6:00 to 8:00. His funeral will be tomorrow at 2:00.
So sad.
ReplyDeleteSo sad.
ReplyDelete